Week 12

Baby is nearly three months old now, and it is fair to say that he can no longer be called a newborn. However, although he is showing signs of gaining some independence and developing an identity and personality that is separate from you, he is still entirely dependent on the love and care of his parents. But now he is a little older you can begin to reclaim some of your own non-parenting identity. Who knows, perhaps you’ll even manage a date night and even a few hours of work?

What about baby’s routine?

Although baby may still not be sleeping in solid 5-8 hour blocks at night, chances are that he is beginning to develop some kind of routine. Baby may be crying more predictably, sleeping more predictably and filling his nappy less often. This hopefully will make your life a little easier to plan, allowing you the time and space to get on with more than simply feeding and changing baby.

What are the benefits of baby massage?

Giving baby a massage can be a great way to help him relax and maybe even boost his health and improve his sleep patterns. It is also a great way for both parent and baby to bond, and for mothers to continue the deep-seated mother-child connection.

How much will my baby be crying?

If your baby has been suffering from colic, his crying should start to settle down. Even if he has not had colic, you’ll likely notice that baby is crying a lot less now that you’re nearing the end of the third month. Of course, this won’t apply to every case, and if you’re still concerned about the amount your baby is crying, let your GP know.

Is it ok to go on a date?

It may have been some time since you and your partner went out on a date. But it is now week 12 and although it might seem early, the truth is that the sooner you get out, the easier you will make it for yourself to take this step in the future. However, be modest in your ambitions – don’t plan a night at the pub followed by an all-nighter at the club. Instead, think about a brief meal, drink or even a short romantic walk during the evening. If your baby is tricky to put down at night, why not try lunch or brunch?

Of course, you don’t want just anyone coming in to look after your 12-week old, let alone an inexperienced and unfamiliar teenager. But if you have a parent, sibling or other trusted person handy, they can help out.

What about expressing?

You can feel much more relaxed about leaving your baby if you know that he can feed while you’re out reconnecting with your partner. Expressing can seem like quite a palaver, but the truth is that once you’ve done it a couple of times, it becomes much easier to incorporate into your routine. And remember: you can freeze expressed milk so that is ready when you need it.

Here are some useful expressing tips:

  • Be sure to do at least one trial express and bottle feed runs before you actually need to, whether for work or a date.
  • If you are expressing on the run – perhaps because you are travelling to and from work – be sure that you have equipment to keep the milk chilled.
  • Date and label every container of expressed milk.
  • If you are in the office, find somewhere you feel comfortable expressing milk.

Am I ready to go back to work?

The question of whether you are ready to go back to work is entirely down to you, your partner and the health of your baby. For most mothers, the answer at this stage will be a resounding and incredulous no. However, not everyone is the same, and some mothers may be ready to begin working a few hours or days a week – perhaps from home. If you are going to return to work, you may find that – just as for your date nights – the only way to do this successfully is to begin an expressing routine.

Now that you’re coming to the end of the third month, find out more about what to expect in months 4, 5, and 6.